Forgiveness is not the only way to find absolution

Relationships can be infuriating, especially after leaving an ex. I decided to talk to my ex two nights ago and she talks to me like she still loves me, but before I knew it she's playing around with every guy I knew. I believe in forgiving people for their mistakes and moving on with life, but forgiveness is an unreasonable emotion to apply at times. Parents must forgive people who've murdered their children, girlfriends ask boyfriends to forgive them after cheating on them and friends plea after betrayal. It's sickening. I understand the importance of gaining absolution through forgiveness, but I've got a beast inside of me that at times doesn't want to forgive. I understand I was making a wrong choice to try to talk to her again, after having a rough break-up, but we learn from our mistakes. Lesson learnt. The problem is I'm going to obsess over her actions with other guys for a while and I don't want that stress. Like I said before desire can be disastrous emotion, but than again I think I'm taking this way to seriously. It seems like I'm letting such a small problem dominate my day and even worse, use up the valuable time I could be living my life in happiness. Well than I don't need forgiveness, but what I do need is something to let out anger. This blog is good for that. Tthe idea I've got out of this is that forgiveness isn't always absolution, but we all need someone or something to loosen the leach around the beast within and just speak our heart. Cause speaking your heart, is a whole lot better than masking your pain with an emotion like forgiveness. The important thing is to move on and not to hold grudges. The way I look at my situation is that she is entitled to do her own thing and likewise with myself. I know my purpose and have to work towards it and when she understands hers than she will work towards hers.